I could have titled this post many things, but I decided to just put it out there. This blog is about looks. Sorry if you are totally not into that sort of thing. Feel free to black list me from your Internet cavorting. I won't mind--in fact I insist.
I have a few fashion confessions to make. I've made some pretty big faux pas's lately. Like, the other day I drove Tessa to school and dropped her off and got back in my car to discover a burp cloth had been stuck to my shoulder the whole time. How did that happen? And no one said anything to me about it--even though Jack was in the car seat fast asleep. I guess they figured I was pulling a "just-in-case". And I'm sure I was more embarrassed than they were.
Another fashion blunder was just not my fault. A few nights ago, I finished nursing Jack right after dinner. I was wearing one of those nursing cami's--you know the one. Anyway, Jack had fallen asleep while nursing and milk dribbled onto my cami which was grey. So I buttoned up and began clearing off the table and cleaning up Tessa with a huge wet spot on my shirt. No big deal--it's just me and Anthony. WRONG! The doorbell rang and a few minutes later, Anthony comes walking into the house with a random roofing guy who was canvasing the neighborhood for jobs. To top it all off, it was obvious this man was not married and did not have children (based on later comments he made). I had to walk past him to get my sweatshirt. It was pretty bad for Anthony later who hadn't even noticed--of course.
But the fashion blunder to top them all was when I wore mom jeans. There. I admitted it. I own a pair--meaning ONE pair-- of mom jeans. They were bought at some huge Ross clearance thingy and they were Ralph Lauren so they couldn't be that bad right? WRONG! After I got them home, I vowed to only wear them in emergencies. No, I didn't throw them away or take them back--they were Ralph Laurens! And they were like $8! I have to insert a public announcement here. If you own mom jeans--get rid of them. Unless you are thin like a model and have a boy's body, mom jeans will give you FB. FB is front butt. Yes, you read that right. I used the word "butt" in my blog. I had to so you would see the light, whoever you might be.
Apparently, I fall into this hopeless fashion category because I wore my mom jeans the other day to drop off Tessa at school. While I was walking through the parking lot, I noticed a woman video taping her kid, but at first I thought she was taping me. Which means, they probably have footage of me walking to school in mom jeans. One day, that mom will show her daughter that video as an object lesson of what "not to wear". To further illustrate my point, look at this before and after of this poor lady who was trapped in mom jeans.
BEFORE:
AFTER:
What's worse than wearing mom jeans? Tucking your shirt into mom jeans. That's worse.
And Jessica Simpson is a beautiful woman, right? Look what happened when she wore her mom jeans--the whole world went nuts! And she's not even a mom!
Dang! She's still gorgeous. Oh well.
So I am never wearing my mom jeans again. They are history. And I need to go shopping. Like I needed an excuse.
4 comments:
remember Rockies? remember how your dad always said they were made with 90 test line? that's kind of what jessica's jeans look like in that picture. and what's up with that belt? did she make that out of the pocket on the back of those jeans you had that time??? :o)
OK. Those "jeans" I wore were sequined, not leopard print. People at school laughed at me and called them my Michael Jackson butt jeans. Get it? Man I hated Jr High.
This cracked me up because it's so true! Every time I see you, you look great!!!!
Front butt!!! Nice! That's hilarious. Good job with the throw away.
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