One thing worn, One thing Shared, One thing Gave Away

It is Sunday morning, and I am thankful for my jacket. Not my warm one. Because today's high is 55, and I am wearing a thin red corduroy jacket with a ruffle on the bottom. I love this jacket because it only cost $7 at TJMaxx, and it is sooooooo cute! I try not to preen or simper unattractively when I get compliments.

I shared a piece of my heart with Anthony today. It was harder than you might think. I had done something wrong. I had spoken of someone I know in a judgemental way. Just remembering my face as I spoke it makes my lip want to curl instinctively. I was proclaiming what "bothered" me about them. With lots of self-righteous indignation, I might add. Anthony wisely said nothing. He just listened. And then, this morning I walked into his Bible class on prayer and heard him read this:

^"9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: ¹⁰ “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. ¹¹ The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. ¹² I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
¹³ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
¹⁴ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14)

And I was convicted in that piercing way that leaves you feeling sensitive and raw. Like new skin grown over a burn--not yet rough with life's using. I felt thankful and humbled. And later I shared this private heart-moment with Anthony on our walk. And I went home justified.

I gave away four quarters today. This small amount of money reflected as riches in my children's eyes. Well--in Jack's anyway. Our church has a worship segment called "Coins for Christ" where kids bring up money and drop it into buckets that goes to a few Compassion children. Seeing their excitement at being a part of something big never fails to make me feel grateful.

Sunrise Snuggles

I sit alone in the early morning quiet thinking big, deep thoughts until Jack stumbles into the kitchen and into my lap. His little body still smelling of sleep, his curls still warm from his cocoon of blankets. And he lays his head on my shoulder and his fingers twist in and out of my robe--something he has done with his blankets since he was very small. Like a cat kneading a blanket. And my deep thoughts--so wide before--are pulled into sharp focus. A pinpoint sized moment in my life is captured. And we sit together--frozen in time--me, so very thankful and he, drowsy with sleep and comfort. This. Thank you Lord today. Right now. For this.

Right here, Right now...

I received Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts from my parents for Christmas. I already enjoy Ann's blog (www.aholyexperience.com) so I knew of her book. But I recently decided to try to take up the challenge of writing three things I am thankful for each day. She posts a guide for writing these gifts on her blog at the first of each month. My goal is to chronicle some of those 1000 gifts here. The goal--to be thankful and content right here, right now.

They call me Senor Chocolate Caliente

I Heart Fall

This was one of those beautiful Colorado Fall days. The sun was out, the breeze was gentle, and the temperature was in the mid to upper 60's. We decided a bike ride to the park would be fun.

 Where's Tessa, you ask? Wellllll.......She kinda sorta crashed. I saw the whole thing and after checking her over, discovered that she was more scared and embarrassed than hurt. She refused to get back on her bike. We were fine with that and all started walking up the hill to the playground. Tessa began......let's call it "overreacting". She refused to walk. So we continued to the playground and she sat pouting.

After about 20 minutes, she brought her bike up to the playground and then walked over to the restrooms nearby to........let's call it "pout".

 But eventually she came around. And Daddy's antics soon had the whole crew laughing.

Dear Grandma and Papa,

Today we went for a hike. I liked seeing the rocks. I loved the trip.
We saw a lot of deer.
I miss you!
Tessa

How to Be Saved

I was raised in a very conservative Church of Christ in Texas. The church was small, and most of its members older. There are things I love about that background. For instance, I know my way around my Bible. I never need the table of contents to help me find Zepheniah. I memorized the entire chapter of Isaiah 53 when I was about 10 (this was for Sunday school). I was instilled with a deep sense of dedication to meeting times at church. You were there or you were very sick or out of town. Things were very black and white. It was either right or wrong (and most of it was wrong, let me tell you). I often feel pity for the Pharisees when Jesus rebuked them. It's as though I used to be one.

Did you know that if you Google "steps for Salvation", the search engine automatically tries to tag "church of christ" on the end? I haven't done my research on this topic--I don't know EXACTLY where or when those steps were first put together. I don't know if the steps are exclusive to the church of christ (although, I've never heard them anywhere else). I came to the Lord by hearing, believing, repenting, confessing, and then being baptized. And I don't regret a single step because that was where the Lord in all His infinite grace met me. In the waters of baptism, my 12 year old body became the Holy Temple of God. The Spirit rushed in with the breath of the Most High God. I felt nothing (except embarrassment because my baptismal gown clung to my wet skin in an uncomfortable way). It's funny and glorious how the Spirit is described as a mighty rushing wind. For me, it was like a gentle, warm exhale. My conscience was awakened as never before. It was no longer a rudderless ship tossed about on the sea of my tween emotions. There was evidence--for the first time in my life--of a higher purpose. A real direction to travel in. I began to feel compelled to let go of the wheel. I looked down at my hands and realized there was no wheel. What had I been gripping? I could still feel the ghost of the wood grain pressed against my palms...

"Do you know brothers--for I am speaking to men who know the law--that the law has authority over a man as long as he lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man. So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code." Romans 7:1-6

I knew the law before I was saved. I knew scripture, I knew how to be a nice person. I knew how to act like a Christian. I knew the importance of showing up to church. I KNEW ALL OF THIS. But when I got saved by Jesus, it began to slowly dawn on me that it wasn't that I knew, it was that I was new. I was owned. The wood I had been gripping had pressed into the back of my Savior as He suffered on the cross. Blood had run down it in rivulets until my grip slipped. I was FREE!!!!

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!" John 8:36