It is Sunday morning, and I am thankful for my jacket. Not my warm one. Because today's high is 55, and I am wearing a thin red corduroy jacket with a ruffle on the bottom. I love this jacket because it only cost $7 at TJMaxx, and it is sooooooo cute! I try not to preen or simper unattractively when I get compliments.
I shared a piece of my heart with Anthony today. It was harder than you might think. I had done something wrong. I had spoken of someone I know in a judgemental way. Just remembering my face as I spoke it makes my lip want to curl instinctively. I was proclaiming what "bothered" me about them. With lots of self-righteous indignation, I might add. Anthony wisely said nothing. He just listened. And then, this morning I walked into his Bible class on prayer and heard him read this:
"9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14)
And I was convicted in that piercing way that leaves you feeling sensitive and raw. Like new skin grown over a burn--not yet rough with life's using. I felt thankful and humbled. And later I shared this private heart-moment with Anthony on our walk. And I went home justified.
I gave away four quarters today. This small amount of money reflected as riches in my children's eyes. Well--in Jack's anyway. Our church has a worship segment called "Coins for Christ" where kids bring up money and drop it into buckets that goes to a few Compassion children. Seeing their excitement at being a part of something big never fails to make me feel grateful.
Monday, January 16, 2012
I sit alone in the early morning quiet thinking big, deep thoughts until Jack stumbles into the kitchen and into my lap. His little body still smelling of sleep, his curls still warm from his cocoon of blankets. And he lays his head on my shoulder and his fingers twist in and out of my robe--something he has done with his blankets since he was very small. Like a cat kneading a blanket. And my deep thoughts--so wide before--are pulled into sharp focus. A pinpoint sized moment in my life is captured. And we sit together--frozen in time--me, so very thankful and he, drowsy with sleep and comfort. This. Thank you Lord today. Right now. For this.
www.aholyexperience.com) so I knew of her book. But I recently decided to try to take up the challenge of writing three things I am thankful for each day. She posts a guide for writing these gifts on her blog at the first of each month. My goal is to chronicle some of those 1000 gifts here. The goal--to be thankful and content right here, right now.