Friday, March 27, 2009

Doggone It!

OK. I just had to write about this!

Anthony took Bella to ANOTHER vet visit. He let me know that they have to reset the splint every week ($25 a pop). While he sat around for the hour it took to re wrap Bella's foot, he was suckered into buying a "bag" to go over the cast. Now, this "bag" looks like a product out of the North Face catalogue. It's weather resistant, has a rubber sole for traction, and it comes in a stylish black color with green accents.

I did NOT ask how much it cost.

Where I come from, a "bag" is an empty wonder bread bag with a rubber band around the top.

Do You Believe in Magic?

Last night was one of those "magic" nights for me. Those come along about every two or three nights around here. It's when both kids sleep soundly through the night, and the first time I crack an eye, it's at least 5:30 AM. So here I am enjoying a cup o' jo and writing on my blog. It's pure heaven.

On another bunny trail...each night I put Tessa down for bed, she asks for a story about the Princess Tessa and her magic Sparkly Shoes. Maybe I am teaching her to be self-absorbed. Maybe I should title the stories: Princess Not-Tessa and her magic Golden Rule Shoes. But I bet that wouldn't fly. Anyway, she loves these stories and when I say "the end" she always smiles and says, "Good reading, mom!". You know those little Nintendo DS things you can buy that have the commercial for the brain game. You know, the one you play each day to strengthen your brain? And then it tells you how old your brain "acts" based on your score? Well, before I started the Princess Tessa stories, mine was at, like, 98 years old. I am happy to say, all of this creative thinking on my feet has moved me back some. To, like, 79 at least! Well, that is what it would probably be if I actually had that game and actually played it.

Speaking of games, hide and seek is a true winner in our house. And it's great right now. Because we have about 3 places to hide in our living room/kitchen/dining room part of our house. Tessa, however, will never tire of hiding in all three of those places over and over again. I can't help but feel like it won't be long before she discovers that fact. So last night, Tessa and her daddy played hide and seek. And I was feeding Jack (did you really have to ask? i mean, what else do I ever do?). Tessa had the hiccups the whole time they played. Which was a little sad because she is actually starting to get the idea of the whole hiding part of the game. So no matter where she hid, we would hear these loud hiccups. Hiccups behind the ottoman, hiccups in the coat closet, hiccups behind the dining room curtains. And it was so funny, that Anthony would look at me and we would both loose it. Poor Jack probably felt like he was getting a milkshake for dinner. (too much?) Pretty soon, Tessa began telling Anthony where to hide. He would tell her, "I don't know--maybe I'll hide somewhere else." And then Tessa began hiding in the exact same spot Anthony just hid. You could tell he was beginning to get worn down pretending to look for her. Who knew hide and seek had so many layers of difficulty?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Tragedy Befalls Prince, Belle Promises Support

Like I mentioned before, Tessa doesn't really nap right now. She does "quiet time" instead. Quiet time = Mommy time.

But while she is in her room, she is NOT quiet. Anything but. Here is the scene of the tragic accident:
The Human Tornado struck the tiny room ruthlessly, destroying everything in its path. The poor prince didn't have a chance.

Forget Band-Aids or Kisses--We Have a CAMERA!!

Tessa hurt her mouth on her sippy cup this morning. She was trying to drink and walk at the same time and ran into a wall. More evidence that she is her father's daughter! ;)

It started a few months ago--this taking a picture of the injury. I started it because the only thing I had to stop her screaming was my cell phone. And seeing a picture of her finger with the "boo-boo" was the perfect remedy. Like Indians saw their spirit captured in a photo, Tessa saw her pain on the tiny screen.

So she, of course, needed a picture to be taken of her mouth injury:

This led to another picture, and I started taping rather than taking a picture:

In this clip, you can tell that Jack has begun to realize that his big sister is a bit of a drama queen:

And just because he is so cute...

Monday, March 23, 2009

Dogs, Diapers, and Markers

For those of you who don't know, we are in the process of sinking hundreds of dollars into our English Setter, Bella. I should clarify that when I say "we", I mean "Anthony". I do NOT condone the use of that much money on a dog with a limp. Give her some bute and get over it, I say. Ha, ha! "We" have already taken her to the vet once where they did a round of x-rays delivered with lots of fun sounding "necessary" operations. They mentioned doing surgery on her knee to explore the problem and try to find out what was wrong. Uh-huh. "We" took her back to the vet this morning much to the dismay and disapproval of "our" wife.

So Anthony brought Bella back (after an hour and a half visit with the vet) with a cast on her leg. He authorized ANOTHER x-ray and then the whole cast thing. The vet "thinks" she may have a chipped bone in her foot. Personally, I think this is all a load of crap. They have NO IDEA what they are doing. The second set of x-rays showed nothing more than the first set. So this cast thing is about three times the size of the lower half of Bella's back leg. And she is SOOOO depressed about it. She wouldn't do anything but lay around all day with this "woe is me" expression on her face. She somehow mustered up the enthusiasm to hobble under the table after dinner and pathetically lick the food Tessa dropped all over the floor. MMMMMMM Chicken tacos! I mean, COUGH! WHEEZE! I can hardly open my mouth and drag my tongue across the floor. Ungh! We let her out for dinner and a potty break just now and she is running around the yard barking at all the night sounds--you know, things like air and grass. That's all it takes, folks.

On a brighter note, Jack managed TWO blowouts today. But let's just be specific and say four. Because the first one happened while he was in his car seat so it effectively ruined his clothes AND the car seat cover. The second one happened in his exersaucer so it ruined that outfit AND the blanket we had stuffed around him for support. Outfit number three happens to be one I pulled directly from the drier. It was the victim of a blowout a few days ago. Ready to serve and protect again.

Tessa has given her naps the boot for the last few weeks. This has caused mini meltdowns to happen all afternoon. Like today, for instance. Tessa was sitting at the table coloring with her markers when one rolled onto the floor. She screamed and then got out the word marker before her brain shorted out. It sounded like "MAAAAAARRRRRRRRKEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!" and it was proclaimed in a mourning wail complete with her head thrown back and her eyes squeezed shut. Pure tragedy.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Materialism and Beauty on the Outside

I could have titled this post many things, but I decided to just put it out there. This blog is about looks. Sorry if you are totally not into that sort of thing. Feel free to black list me from your Internet cavorting. I won't mind--in fact I insist.

I have a few fashion confessions to make. I've made some pretty big faux pas's lately. Like, the other day I drove Tessa to school and dropped her off and got back in my car to discover a burp cloth had been stuck to my shoulder the whole time. How did that happen? And no one said anything to me about it--even though Jack was in the car seat fast asleep. I guess they figured I was pulling a "just-in-case". And I'm sure I was more embarrassed than they were.

Another fashion blunder was just not my fault. A few nights ago, I finished nursing Jack right after dinner. I was wearing one of those nursing cami's--you know the one. Anyway, Jack had fallen asleep while nursing and milk dribbled onto my cami which was grey. So I buttoned up and began clearing off the table and cleaning up Tessa with a huge wet spot on my shirt. No big deal--it's just me and Anthony. WRONG! The doorbell rang and a few minutes later, Anthony comes walking into the house with a random roofing guy who was canvasing the neighborhood for jobs. To top it all off, it was obvious this man was not married and did not have children (based on later comments he made). I had to walk past him to get my sweatshirt. It was pretty bad for Anthony later who hadn't even noticed--of course.

But the fashion blunder to top them all was when I wore mom jeans. There. I admitted it. I own a pair--meaning ONE pair-- of mom jeans. They were bought at some huge Ross clearance thingy and they were Ralph Lauren so they couldn't be that bad right? WRONG! After I got them home, I vowed to only wear them in emergencies. No, I didn't throw them away or take them back--they were Ralph Laurens! And they were like $8! I have to insert a public announcement here. If you own mom jeans--get rid of them. Unless you are thin like a model and have a boy's body, mom jeans will give you FB. FB is front butt. Yes, you read that right. I used the word "butt" in my blog. I had to so you would see the light, whoever you might be.

Apparently, I fall into this hopeless fashion category because I wore my mom jeans the other day to drop off Tessa at school. While I was walking through the parking lot, I noticed a woman video taping her kid, but at first I thought she was taping me. Which means, they probably have footage of me walking to school in mom jeans. One day, that mom will show her daughter that video as an object lesson of what "not to wear". To further illustrate my point, look at this before and after of this poor lady who was trapped in mom jeans.



What's worse than wearing mom jeans? Tucking your shirt into mom jeans. That's worse.

And Jessica Simpson is a beautiful woman, right? Look what happened when she wore her mom jeans--the whole world went nuts! And she's not even a mom!

Dang! She's still gorgeous. Oh well.

So I am never wearing my mom jeans again. They are history. And I need to go shopping. Like I needed an excuse.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

La Belle Princesse à Le Peep

As I was informed by my mother, the scales are tipping in favor of Jack as far as video footage goes. So I now need to even it out with a heart-wrenchingly cute video of her latest escapades. Unfortunately, tonight, some stories will have to do. Hey, it's just the way it is.

The first Tessa story happened at lunch. We met some church friends at Le Peep. Of course, we all got deeply involved in conversation so that Tessa, having finished eating, got bored. She decided to get off of her chair and begin dancing around the table. She was very graceful and serious. The waitress came up and said, "Are you dancing?". Tessa replied, "I'm a princess. I'm Snow White." The waitress spent a few minutes giving Tessa her undivided attention before leaving with a few of our plates. In the back, she must have told all of the waiters and waitresses that Tessa was a princess because every time one of them would walk by our table, they would address her as a princess. They would say, "Excuse me, princess" or "Hi there princess". Every one of them. Tessa was enchanted, obviously, and she spent the rest of lunch acting regal.

The second Tessa story involves nudity. And it's a little PG-13, so you've been warned! We had life group tonight. There are several kids and they run around together in packs like feral dogs. Tessa prefers the boys because for one thing they are closer to her age, and for another--they have lots of fun. Too much fun, in fact. At some point while we were having our Bible study upstairs, two of the boys decided to get naked. They not only got naked, but they proceeded to play with their you-know-whats by shaking them as the jumped on a trampoline in the basement. They also convinced Tessa to get naked, too. One of the children couldn't watch it any longer and came to tattle. We arrived in time to catch Tessa before she was completely naked. We had to have a little talk about keeping our clothes on. We aren't sure when we will need to have a talk about what boys have compared to what girls have, but after tonight, I'm sure it will be sooner rather than later.

One of the boys' dads told me it will be funny to remind Tessa and his son of these events when they grow up and go out on a date. I thought that was a little presumptuous--but what do I know?

Friday, March 6, 2009

After-Dinner "Conversation" with Jack

Sorry if the spit up sounds were a little too much. I couldn't edit it out--don't know how!

Monday, March 2, 2009

The Fairy Godmother Lives in My Refrigerator

My mom came to stay with me when Jack was born. She basically played the part of nanny and cook and house cleaner. It was a great relief to me, and it was the grandest of times for Tessa. She had a 24/7 playmate. While here, my mom succeeded in unlocking an imaginary world that Tessa has yet to leave. Sure she comes up for air occasionally. But she never really leaves it behind for long. It's her life!

One of the more popular story lines that unfolds in her head involves the fairy godmother from the movie, Cinderella. Tessa loves the idea of glass slippers. She pretends to wear them, carry them, clean them, and talk to people (imaginary, of course) who wear them, too. She loves to go in my closet and put on a pair of heels and teeter around the bedroom acting "fancy". Inevitably during the long conversations about glass slippers, one will get broken somehow. This is a tragedy. She runs dramatically to me and says, "MOM! The glass slipper is broken!" I always say, "Oh No! What are we going to do?", and Tessa will remind me that the fairy godmother can fix it for us. Then she will walk promptly to the refrigerator and hold the "shoe" up to the door for about 3 seconds. Then she will say thanks and run to find me and tell me that the slipper has been fixed!

I heard a line in a movie the other day that went, "One day, I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50." While this line was delivered cynically, I happen to see it in a different light. While time does fly, and I'm sure when I'm 50 I will wonder where the last 20 years went, they won't be empty. My days are so full right now. Full of first smiles and glass slippers, soft cheeks and watercolors. One day--maybe when I'm 50--I will look back at all of this and see God's hand shaping all of us into a beautiful picture of love. And I will be able to smile when I remember how the fairy godmother used to live in my refrigerator.