Local Gang of Raccoons Outsmart Engineer

I am so tired right now. For the last two nights, I have not been able to sleep for more than two hours at a time. And it's not even due to a newborn yet! Our problem is...

And I guess the other two problems are the dogs and Anthony. See, our neighbors have this grape vine that gets fruit this time of year. Then the raccoons come to eat off of it at night. The dogs go berserk barking at the raccoons. Anthony runs down to make the dogs stop barking before the neighbors can't sleep either. I have been letting Anthony get out of bed and deal with this problem because, well, it's hard to get up and down in your third trimester. But I am about to take matters into my own hands. Anthony thinks he can run off the raccoons. He comes into the bedroom after being out in the yard and running around the house panting and giving me a play by play at 2:30 in the morning. "And there was this one big one.....And I got a rock.....Just hung there looking at me!!" I keep telling him that raccoons will not be run off by suburban men carrying rocks when food is involved. I pleaded with him to just bring the dogs in the house. But no. He has to outsmart the raccoons. He actually mentioned something about a man defending his territory. Here is what the raccoon said:

So we'll see how it goes tonight. Anthony might just be sleeping in the basement where he can better "defend" his territory.