They're out there. And we're all going to have to deal with them at some point. Whether you're out in your car, at your job, or creeping innocently through an icy parking lot--you're gonna have to face them. I'm talking about crazy people. Being a High School Math teacher, I would like to think I have run into my share of crazy people. But I got an extra special helping at the Safeway last weekend. It was Saturday evening, and Tessa had started to run a fever. We literally had one dose of Tylenol left in the house. So I decided to run to Safeway and pick up another bottle or two. It had been snowing and the roads were pretty slick. So as I eased into the parking lot, I was surprised to see the crowds at the supermarket. I drove down one aisle of cars looking for a spot that wasn't a mile from the doors. As I rounded the end nearest the front of the store, I saw an older man walk out from behind a van. He was the exact distance away that begged a decision. A saddle point. I could either push on through while he walked safely behind my car, or I could stop and wait for him to walk across in front of me. I thought about stopping--really I did! But it was so slick, that I figured it would be easier on both of us if I just sauntered slowly by. As I started to pass the man, he ran at my car with his hands outstretched. He was far enough away that he, after running several steps, he made it to my front wheels. I thought he was being silly. Like he was saying "Help! You're going to hit me! Ha Ha!" So I smiled that knowing smile at him that says, "Ha Ha! I get your funny joke!". But as his face cruised past my drivers window, I heard him scream "STOP!"
My smile froze on my face and my heart started pumping in my ears as I realized he wasn't joking. He thought I should have slid the other way off that saddle point, and he was going to run across ice in order to make that clear. Without moving a muscle on my face, I continued to smile while I slowly looked forward and drove to the next lane of cars. When I thought it was safe, I glanced back in my rear view and saw him waiting at the entrance for me. The crazy person was waiting for me!!!
Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Anthony. I felt a whoosh of relief and answered the phone with, "You're not going to believe what just happened to me!!". I told him about the man waiting at the doors of the store. He said I could just come home and he would go back and get the Tylenol if I wanted him to. Thank goodness. I began to slowly creep back towards the exit of the parking lot.
And then it hit me. NO. I am not leaving here like a spineless wimp! If he wants to have it out with me, then he can just try it! So I parked at the liquor store (a few stores down the strip mall from the Safeway) and took off my coat. Then I rearranged my hair. Maybe he wouldn't recognize me in my new disguise! I walked with my chin up into the store and straight to the medicine aisle. How would he feel if he knew he was about to yell at a young mother with medicine for her sick child?? Huh?? There was a tiny moment of panic when I thought he was coming and I didn't have the infant's Tylenol in my hand. But he never did talk to me. In fact, I don't think he noticed I was there. I was able to leave unscathed.
So I guess all's well that ends well...until the next crazy person...
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