Expected, Typical, Everyday, Ordinary

Yes Summer has its conventions. Especially if you are in a young family. For what would these dog days be without a rambling shuffle along a path with the difficulty level of "piece-of-cake"?

Made exceedingly more fun by a shoulder ride, a stick, and a camera case.

Usually, "pooped-out" carries an entirely different significance at our house. (Jack says, "Hey! I heard that.")

And we could not consider ourselves connoisseurs of calidity if we didn't drop anchor at the fountains for a little welcome wet. If only so we could strike a pose in our new beachwear.

(However, food stuck on the face does slightly diminish one's authority as a cover girl, am I right?)

A little rehearsal in the privacy of the back yard can increase the odds of those little faux pas never happening again.

And since synchronized swimming is only a spec on the horizon for us presently, we will settle for synchronized sitting.

Hey guys! Look over here, Mommy wants to take your picture!

OK. Now everybody wave! Wave to mommy! C'mon Jack! Wave!!

Tessa: (in a ventriloquist voice) Jack, wave your hand like me.

OK. Let's try clapping. Everybody clap. Yeah!! Clap your hands, Jack!!

Oh. Jack was waving that time. Let's try clapping again. Everybody clap! Yeah!!

Maybe another time.

Lost doesn't even BEGIN to cover it.

So we stayed up late last night to watch the series finale of Lost. Late meaning, after 9:30. Que Lastima! (I don't know how to say "Coulda waited and got sleep instead" in Spanish). Actually, I was totally with it until the last 20 minutes or so. I dug the characters finding each other and "remembering" what they meant to each other. But the ending was a let-down. Because it was too confusing! Nothing got explained, no loose ends were tied up in a pretty bow. The explanation they gave didn't make any sense. We walked upstairs to bed shaking our heads and trying to offer up ideas about what it meant.

I thought this was funny. How they got the little figures to look like everyone when none of them has a nose is beyond me. And why does Hurley have a scale?

Bye-Bye School, Hello Summer!

Last Wednesday was the last day of "school" (said with tongue in cheek) for Tessa and Jack. To commemorate the day, I tried to take a picture of them together right before loading up in the van to go. Here's how THAT went:

OK! Let's try standing together! Tessa, put your arm around Jack.

OK. He kinda walked away on that one. Try holding him tight.

(Struggle, struggle, squeal, push) Tessa says, "Oh forget it!"

Oh well. This is the best we could do. Done and Done.

It was a fun day for the kids. They got to play water games that involved changing into swimsuits. And there was mention of shaving cream, but I never found out how that factored in exactly. On a personal side note, NEVER get shaving cream in your hair and then immediately jump into a swimming pool. What happens is some kind of insane chemical stripping that no conditioner can touch. Frizz central will ensue. Maybe for days. What? I had a bad camp experience...

So now, ALL of my scheduled activities that involved childcare are over for a few months. Bring on the cross-eyes and lip drumming! I'm ready!

Our summer plans are in their infancy right now. We 'rents are in negotiations about a family vacay. It's in the word flinging phase right now. From me: fun, tradition, meaningful, needed-for-sanity. From Anthony: budget. (And sometimes variations like "travel budget" and "money")

Until that treaty gets signed, we will be filling the standoff time with trips to the park, the library, the pool, the zoo and long nature hikes. I have a love/hate relationship with summer.

Little boys come in all shapes and sizes,

Shy and adventurous, full of surprises,

With misshapen halos and mischievous grins,

Small dirty faces, and sweet, sticky chins.

They'll keep you so busy, and yet all the while

Nothing can brighten the world like their smile.

And no greater treasure has brought homes more joy

Than a curious, active, and lovable boy!

Angels must dream of little ballerinas...don't you think?

So a Duck Walks Into a Bar...

And he says to the bartender "Got any grapes?"
The bartender says "No, I don’t have any grapes."
The duck walks out, sorely disappointed.
So the next day, he walks back into the bar, asks the same question, gets the same answer.
The day after, he walks back into the bar, and again, asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender, having still not figured out why this duck seems to think he may have some grapes, says to the duck, "No, and if you come back in here tomorrow and ask me if I have any grapes, I will nail your bill to the bar!"
The duck frowns, turns around, and walks out of the bar. So the next day, the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender "Got any nails?"
The bartender says, "No."
So the duck says, "Got any grapes?"

OK. And my favorite part is picturing the duck frown. It's a strange world in here--wanna join me?

I have to ask. How many things do you do with and to your kids for your own selfish reasons? I can say, at LEAST one. I have been reading Charlotte's Web to Tessa. She really is too young to sit and listen to a chapter book. I'm sure any moment while I am reading to her, she will walk away without so much as a "so long". But so far we have read two chapters and she is hanging in there. She even remembered today what happened in the first chapter which we read yesterday. There are a few colored pictures and I make voices for the characters. I think those are the only things keeping her there so far. Oh and I told her it was a big girl book. "Big Girl". A very temporary bribe but one I am not ashamed to use.

Knock, Knock.
Who's There?
Orange.
Orange Who?
Orange you glad I didn't talk about a sick kid??

Need a New Nightmare

Well, well, well! A lot has happened in the last month or so. And by "a lot" I could mean a lot of dirty diapers, snotty noses, play dates, morning (and afternoon) coffee breaks, laundry, sleepless nights, grilled cheese sandwiches and mac and cheese. But hey, this is an exciting blog. Those of you who got on here thinking this was going to be a catalogue of "what-my-kid-did-that-was-cute-today" can just keep lookin'.

OK. I guess I'll drop the act. Wish it was true sometimes, though.

Still, there has been SOME excitement that was out of the ordinary this past month.

Tessa turned 4. Her birthday party was a blast and still talked about by Tessa as if it were yesterday. Well, that's mainly because in her world, anything happening before right now is yesterday (or sometimes "last night").

Jack learned a few new words:

kee-kee (kitty, kitty)

ba (ball)

papa (papa--he's so proud)

wow (wow)

whoa (whoa)

And, last but not least, the highlight of all highlights: I drove by myself to TEXAS with the kids. And that is why I need a new nightmare. Because once you've driven 14.5 hours with two kids, you realize that, while nightmarish, the experience is no longer a figment of a warped imagination. It is a REALITY. Which is less scary--usually. The trip was supposed to be a grand time of family fun. And while some of it was just that--the virus that attacked Tessa and I stole 4 of the 6 days we spent there. It was--in a word--miserable. The trip home was like driving through my very own personal--

But we made it through somehow. On the wings of prayers, actually. When we finally drug our bodies into the house, I crawled into bed and closed my eyes and I could still feel the highway rolling beneath me. And all I could think was : NEVER AGAIN. Or at least not while I have to play goalie with all the toilets in the restrooms because Jack's hands are as fast and as determined as hockey pucks to splash a home team point. And not while Tessa is young enough to wake up in the middle of the night merely to sit up and throw up all over me and the bed. NEVER AGAIN.